This is my narrative from a few weeks ago that I finished! We had to think up 3 different characters and we ended up with Stonks Guy, Robert and Greg! I hope you like this crack piece of writing that I call a story, haha.
NOTE: This is a crack piece of writing, Gen Z humour may be featured in this and also memes but if you know, you know, *does the Debby Ryan*. If confirmation is needed search up the line in the story to understand. If you don’t understand this humour, you may just have to be accepting the fact that you may be a boomer :) Otherwise, welcome to my extraordinary piece of writing!
Featuring: Stonks Guy, Robert and Craig. The KFC toilet’s and workers are paid actors.
~ Introduction ~
“Stonks, you up for a challenge *smirks devilishly*” Robert asked while finger combing his imaginary long goatee with his hands. Robert is a very.. Hmm.. Interesting man let’s just say and Greg too, his best friend.
“Yes sir! ;)” Winked Stonks Guy while doing the Debby Ryan, (if you know, you know). Stonks Guy is a living Meme man if i’m being honest. He wears a tuxedo with a blue bowtie. He looks a bit creepy in real life as he has a meme man head.
They met Stonks Guy in a party and ever since then, they became inseparable!
“Craig, you up for a challenge too?” Asked Robert again as he dramatically shot his towards Craig’s direction while yet again, finger combing his imaginary long goatee.
“Yessss sirrrrr!” Exclaimed Greg while dice rolling.
“The competition is a farting challenge! Whoever wins gets whatever they want on the KFC menu and no limits..!” Said Robert as he grinned sheepishly.
~ Beginning ~
“Don’t you reckon we go in separate stalls?” Asked Greg to Robert.
“Pshhh no.” Said Stonks Guy and Robert in unison.
“Alright, if you say so. In this stall we go..” Said Greg walking into an empty stall with Stonks Guy and Robert closely followed behind.
“Ready..” Robert started.
“Steady..” Greg continued.
“GO!” Stonks Guy yelled.
And this is where the fun, no scratch that, CHAOS begins..
Honestly, anybody else who was in the bathroom would have to go outside. The. bathroom. smelt. AWFUL. Literally a 6 year old girl entered the bathroom just to be met with a horrible smell and noise. Poor girl carried her Barbie Doll inside, (a brand new one mind you), and it caused her Barbie to be so smelly that she would have to throw it in a plastic bag, tie that plastic bag, put another plastic bag on top of the previous one, tie that plastic bag then bury the bag deep down underground. The poor girl was so traumatized she broke down in tears when she exited the bathroom.
I wonder how Robert, Greg and Stonks Guy are coping with all the disgusting smell they are creating, let’s see. Oh.. OH- So they were just wearing 5 masks each! No wonder why they can cope with it.
~ Stonks Guy POV ~
EW! It smells HORRID in here, I was trying to get them to stop but I don’t think they can hear me with all the noise that we are creating. Suddenly I heard the largest fart from all of us yet…
“Uh oh…” We all exclaimed at the same time. This is when we knew, we messed up..
~ Greg POV ~
“Did w-we j-just d-do t-that?” I asked with fear in my voice.
“*Gulps*... Yes..” Said Stonks Guy.
“AAAAAAHHHHHHH!” We all yelled at the same time.
“Shoot, shoot, SHOOT!” Yelled Robert as he paced around the now brown, green and chunky poo on the floor of the bathroom stall.
“You might wanna watch out you might sl-” Stonks Guy tried to say but Robert already slipped, on his back, landed on his head, on the poo and was just knocked out unconscious.
“He’s gonna kill us when he finds out that the poo went in his hair!” I said.
“Let’s get cleaned up!” Said Stonks Guy before gagging.
~ Narrator POV ~
The pair got cleaned up, how? Well simple, crawl back through the secret tunnel in the bathroom that they made all the way back to their homes. Shower then return! Unfortunately for them though, by the time they came back Robert was outside the tunnel waiting for them, arms crossed, foot tapping the floor impatiently and the most scariest and angriest frown. Well their done for.
“Tell my mum I love her before I die!” Stonks Guy exclaimed dramatically while clutching his heart.
“I HAD TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM STALLS ALL BY MYSELF WHILE YOU GUYS WERE PROBABLY HAVING A NICE BUBBLE BATH WITH YELLOW RUBBER DUCKIES AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST BIT! THE POO WENT IN MY HAIR!!” Yelled Robert.
“GOSH CALM DOWN JAMOLE, DON’T PULL OUT THE 9, AHAHAHHAH” Laughed Stonks Guy trying to lighten up the mood.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA” Laughed Greg trying to backup Stonks Guy. Robert just glared and walked up to the duo with his fists clenched.
“Okay, okay sorry sorry!” Stonks Guy yelled with his hands up in the air in defeat.
“Wait so who won?” Asked Robert.
“ME!” Yelled Stonks Guy, Greg and Robert at the same time. This led to a fist fight..
“I WIN!” Yelled Robert.
“NO I DID YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH!” Yelled Stonks Guy while tackling Robert. Greg was on top of Stonks Guy yelling,
“YOU FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOODS; I WON!”
~ Fast Forward Since Nobody Wants To Be Listening To Their Little Fist Fight ~
If i’m being completely honest, they were fighting like little toddlers. They just smacked their hands up and down on the others and yelled. Long story short, Robert won and now they are ordering whatever he wants at the KFC counter.
“Yeah I would like 4 Rugby All Stars please and thank you.” Said Robert to the KFC worker.
“Alright. You’re total is $48.” Said the KFC worker.
“Robert, the money?” Nudged Robert to Stonks Guy. Stonks Guy scoffed before reluctantly handing him $50 dollars.
“Oh and, keep the change!” Winked Robert to the worker.
“Wha- YOU! ARGH! Cut the cameras, deada-” Yelled Stonks Guy and with that he smacked the camera’s out of the camera guys' hands.
“And that’s when he knew that he fricked up.” Said the KFC worker.
“Go rObeRt gO! RuN lIke tHe wInd!” Yelled Greg to Robert.
In conclusion, don’t have a farting competition and who even wants to do that stuff? If i’m being honest, if you do want to have a farting competition, your last three brain cells are; Stonks Guy, Robert and Greg.
~ Special interview with Stonks Guy afterwards ~
Narrator: “What were you thinking when Robert said, ‘Keep the change.’?”
Stonks Guy: “I remember thinking, i’m about to beat this bleep up.”
~ THE END :> ~